Shocking Family Secrets
Several years ago, after finding out late in life that I was adopted, my family’s story was featured on an episode of a show called Shocking Family Secrets on Discovery and OWN.
I had suspicions in my life that I could have been adopted, but rather than explain all the reasons why, you can watch it for yourself.
Check out both parts of the episode below…. THEN you can read on for updates for how things played out in the years afterward.
Just Before The Show Aired
In an effort to make the most of sharing this story to hopefully find my birth mother, I had an appearance scheduled on Global Morning News to promote the show and get the word out. Just one week before I was scheduled to be on the show, something happened.
I had recently had a breakup from a 3 year relationship and this had sparked something in me to put more effort into searching for my birth mother, etc. I stayed up late one night… I knew her name, but it was a very generic last name so I was never confident that when I would find someone with her name, that it was her. Then it happened, I stumbled upon an obituary where someone with her name had left her condolences for someone that had passed away — from her and her children, and then signed two boys names and a girls name. My Dad (whom you saw in the video above), had previously told me that he knew my biological mother had two boys and a girl before me. Well, now I potentially knew THEIR names! I immediately started using those names on Facebook, trying profile after profile and eliminating people that didn’t fit. Eventually, this same night I had found three profiles that all had my birth mother as a common “friend” and they all had Saskatoon as a common birthplace (where I was also born). One of these brothers even looked A LOT like me in some of his photos. It was surreal. But alas it was 1am and I had no one to tell so I went to bed. I did send a message to who I thought was my birth mom on Facebook, but it didn’t look like she was very active on there so I wasn’t sure if she would get the message or if I’d end up in some “other” folder and never be seen.
The next morning, after not having told anyone about what I found out the night before, I awoke to a Facebook message from a woman I had met in a professional development course some months earlier. She was a mortgage broker, avid runner… but also a psychic. She had previously done a reading for me in hopes that it could help me find my birth mother. Well, after not having spoken with her in quite a while, I got a Facebook message from her out of the blue. It read:
“Hi Patrick, How are you doing with your search for your birth family? I have been thinking about you a lot lately and this morning got a strong message to contact you, to follow up to encourage you to take advantage of the information I shared...here is exactly what I was told today ‘Patrick people are waiting for you to take action, they want to hear from you, get on it’""
Naturally, I was blown away. I responded:
“Ahh, Karen that is so crazy that you messaged me. Last night while looking through Facebook for hours, I think I found them. I messaged who I think is my birth mother on Facebook and if I don't hear back by tomorrow, I am going to try to call one of my half brothers to see if he can pass on my phone number.”
And that’s what I did. I decided to call one of my half brothers (Scott) by way of a number I found in the online Yellowpages. I called and his wife answered the phone - he wasn’t home. She asked if she could leave a message for him. Here came the tricky part. How do I explain this without freaking everyone out in case I’m wrong?" I proceeded to tell her that I was actually trying to get in touch with his mom because my parents were… connected to her years and years ago and I was trying to reconnect. She seemed curious or suspicious and asked a few more questions and I realized there was no way around this. I explained that I believed that his mother could be my birth mother, she asked why I thought that and I explained. Then she said… she did know of another child being born after the others… so this wasn’t a complete surprise. That was a relief.
I told her I didn’t want to interrupt anyone’s life, I just wanted to pass on the message, at the very least, that I was alive and well and had a great life and upbringing… in case she wondered about me. And if she wanted to contact me, I was open to that but no pressure. She said she’s pass this all on for me and that was that.
The Call
Later that night, my phone rang… an Alberta number… I had a feeling it was her and it was. I spoke with my birth mother… for … actually I can’t recall how long. I just remember it was very surreal. How do you sum up your life in one phone call? What my life has been life the past 30 years? What were my interests? What jobs did I have, what did I study? Also, “I’m gay”…. but I definitely wasn’t ready to bring that up in the first conversation.
We started chatting more and I had to tell her about the upcoming show, and the fact that I had a live Global News segment coming up. I had since contacted Global and told them maybe I didn’t need to come on the show anymore because I had found my birth mother… but they loved that and they wanted to have me on anyway AND…. also have my birth mother in on the conversation over the phone during the live segment. How crazy. I asked her and she thought about it and agreed! Here I am below with the news anchor that day, Global’s Lynn Colliar.
On Global BC with Lynn Collier talking about my adoption story.
My biological mother and I the first time we met in person & went out for dinner.
My biological father and I in the first couple minutes after meeting in person for the first time.
